Whenever I think of you, Mummy, my throat tightens, and tears well up in my eyes, as my heart struggles to comprehend the overwhelming love you showered upon me.
It is a general assumption that it is the expected thing for a mother to love her child. After all, wasn't she the one who let the child grow in her, and endured the stings of childbirth? She was the one who lent her nipples for her little child to feast on, right?
But I saw Mama Seun’s son narrowly escape death from the way she descended on him with the Orogun. Wasn’t it some while ago, 12-year-old Amanda cried her eyes out while pleading with her mum not to give her out in marriage to the pot-bellied Papa Chinedu, twice as old as her late father?
Tolani wasn’t given a chance, she lived enduring the insults and shame of being an omo ashawo. She was regarded as an outcast because her mum absconded with a man when she was 3 months old. Parents cautioned their children against spending time with her, fearing she might lead them astray as well. The list is endless
And so, I do not consider it the usual thing for a mother to love her child simply because it is hers. I consider it a choice she has to make, a lifetime choice.
From experience, I know it is one thing to love a person but it the best to love a person the right way, and you without fail choose the best.
Relentlessly, you never looked the other way, you always chose to love me.
During my toddler years, when I tried to bring the house down with my boundless energy, you never failed to scoop me up in your arms and tend to whatever chaos I had created. Through my rebellious teenage years when I was so consumed in my youth, you always looked out for me regardless of how unpleasant I constantly was. When I became an adult and the pressures of adulthood were crippling, you constantly prayed for me and reassured me. Your resolute belief in me strengthened me. “Omo mi, God is in control," you always said with that smile.
Now I’m a mother to Bola and I am constantly marvelled at how you made it seem easy. Mummy, it has not been easy. I have been struggling. I am realizing that there is more to being a mother than meets the eye. It's astonishing how "sacrifice" isn't merely a collection of letters; I've personally endured the weight of making painful sacrifices.
Mama, would you believe that I had to give up the job we cried and prayed to God about, the one at the publishing press because the effects of the cesarean section were very severe? I found it so discomforting that I had to act like I wasn't in pain to conform to societal expectations. A mother possesses an inherent strength akin to a fortress, who for any reason cannot be less than that. She must forever remain strong.
I still find it hard to accept this new reality. Nothing prepared me for the changes my body has had to go through which have been terrible. Sometimes when Daddy Bola and Bola are asleep, I sneak in a few sobs. I don’t know how many more things I’d sacrifice.
Mama, I hardly get a chance to catch my breath. Everyone knows the best diet for me and my baby, the right position to place her, and the right clothes for the weather. While I appreciate their care and affection, sometimes I want to slap their mouths shut.
The other day, I thought I could confide in Frances, who is a young mother like me. I told her how I was struggling and she shushed me before I could even continue my words and started praying loudly for me. I had no choice but to swallow my emotions with a befitting amen as a response to her loud prayers. The following day, she came with a truckload of confessions for me and I wept. They asked me why I was weeping, I lied that they were tears of joy about the blessings of God. They joined me to weep.
Mama, my source of strength has been my memories of how well you catered for me. I would ask how you were able to manage all of it but there wouldn’t be a response. I wish every day you were still here. I’m sure I won’t have to go through these if you were. My daughter looks so much like you and I call her Omo mi too. I tell her some of the stories you told me and I tell her how much you would have loved her.
Ìyá ni ẃurà iyebíye Ti a kò lè fowò rà
Mummy, you're a priceless treasure beyond monetary value.
Don’t forget to wish your mother and mothers around you a Happy Mother’s Day🎊
This beautiful write-up was written by Flourish, one of our amazing writers at the Baseline.
Hope you enjoyed it.